Should You Try to Grow Where You Are or Go Somewhere Else?

In my last post, I came down pretty hard on church people who complain that they are not growing in their church and use that as an excuse for leaving their church. I realize that the growth of many Christians really does stall. When that happens their church experience and even their relationship with Christ can become stale. Changing churches is awfully drastic. It disrupts your life, the church, and often damages the Kingdom of God.

Here are some things you can do to grow at the church you now attend.

o   Find out whom the pastor is targeting with his messages and pray with him for those people. Who does he see as the people who your particular church has the best opportunity to reach? Those folks are the primary mission of your church. Now that doesn’t mean that others are excluded. It means that those folks are the center of the target. There is a biblical precedence for “targeting.” Jesus targeted the “lost house of Israel”, but He also healed the Syro-Phoenician woman, and told he disciples to go to all people. Also, Paul targeted Gentiles, but also reached Jews. Conversely, Peter targeted Jews, but he was the first to baptize a Gentile (Cornelius). Pray that your pastor’s messages will touch the targeted people at a deep level.

o   Find out whom the songs target and pray for them. Also pray for the musicians that they will be able to keep the message and not the applause their priority. While you’re at it, ask God to help you enjoy the music more. If you don’t like it, or it is too loud, don’t complain to anyone except, perhaps, the music leader him/herself.

o   Look into the eyes of the people who visit the church and newer members. Ask God to help you love them even if they are different in generation, different socio-economic status, or education level.  Ask him to use you to be part of winning your neighborhood and the next generation

o   Find out what needs to be done and offer to help in anyway you can. Ask a staff leader where you might fit in and how you can get trained to do it.  Tell them you want to be on the team.

o   Whether not the staff can help you find an “official” job, you can still be part of accomplishing the mission. You can warmly greet others, especially visitors. You can invite new people to attend your small group, Sunday school class, etc. Even if they never come, they will appreciate a sincere invitation.

o   If you know that you need help to grow in the Lord, join or start a group or class that will go deeper in the study of the Bible. Ask the pastor or a staff leader for direction in this.

If you can’t be part of the team, do your church, the Lord, and your pastor a favor and find somewhere else to attend. However, before you do that think about how you will explain your leaving your church to the Lord. That’s a lot harder than explaining it to your pastor or someone at church, because God knows your heart. If your reasons are selfish He will know. If your reasons are valid you will know His approval. 

Before you write off the leadership of your church and/or decide to leave, ask yourself these questions:

1. If the church changed to suit me would it be more likely or less likely to reach           unchurched people?

            2. Am I a customer at my church or am I part of the work force?      

People complain about commercialism in the church and say church leaders work to impress the unchurched. Some of those same folks then choose to leave the church because the church doesn’t suit them. What they seem to want is for the church to treat them as customers. For the church to work as it should, church members should be part of the staff, not the customers. The customers of the church are people who need Jesus. When they put faith in Jesus, the process of customer becoming workers begins. The work people in God’s church are supposed to do is the great commission and the great commandments. 

I have actually heard people say that the church should cater to them, because they give money. Well that’s consumerism. Our gifts to the church are just that—gifts. Some folks give to the church the way they pay dues to a country club. They think their offerings buy them the right to be served by the church and use the facility, and that the church leadership should put the social and religious needs of its members first. On the contrary the church must put the spiritual needs of those who don’t know Christ ahead of the religio-cultural needs of the members. We should expect, even require, that our gifts to the church be used to build the Kingdom of God.

On the other hand, if the reason you don’t feel like your are growing is because the church is not reaching people, then you do need to find another place where you can be part of the doing the mission. You need a place where you grow by serving and supporting the vision to reach your community for Christ. You are not to be a spectator. You are to be a stakeholder. You are to be a servant. You are to be a minister and missionary!

If You’re Not Growing Where You’re Going …

I drove past the big billboard next to a large church on a freeway each week for 7 months and it bugged me every time. It said, “If You’re Not Growing Where You’re Going, Try Us.” I think churches should advertise, but I think it should be targeted. This sign is targeted, but it’s targeted toward people who are already church members. It seems to me we should be targeting the unchurched. Perhaps, this church is located in an area where everyone goes to church and their only opportunity to grow is to pick off disaffected members of other churches, but I seriously doubt that. Aside from the fact that it seems less than honorable to intentionally try to attract church people who are not satisfied with the church they attend, chances are that any one you get that way will, after a brief honeymoon, be dissatisfied with your church too. (And probably become a pain in the neck or even lower.)

Yet we hear that sentence all the time. “I’m just not being fed.” The question I always wanted to ask, and now that I am older, do ask from time to time is, “Why not? Why aren’t you being fed”?

Sometimes the answer is, “The pastor’s sermons are boring.” That might be true, but rather than leaving, this person should pray for his pastor and support any efforts he makes to improve.

Sometimes the answer is, “The pastor’s sermons are too simple.” Maybe his sermons are simple, but it may be his sermons are simple to you because they are targeted at new believers. Perhaps you find them simple because you need more challenging stuff. In that case, instead of complaining about simple sermons, you should pray for the people he hopes the sermons will reach, and ask him for guidance for ways you can go deeper. He would probably love to give you some direction.

Other times, the reason the person isn’t being fed is, “The music is not to my taste,” or “too loud”, or “for another generation”, “I don’t like all the tech stuff”, or simply, “I don’t know the songs.” Again, look at whom the church is trying to target. You might say, “Well, if I’m not part of the target, then I guess they don’t need me.” That is exactly wrong! The church needs you to be on the team, to be part of the effort to reach people who don’t know Christ. All of these criticisms imply that the church is supposed to revolve around you. It’s not! It exists to glorify God. We glorify Him by obeying Him, and He has told us how to do that: reach out to those who don’t know Him with His message of love, hope and salvation; to grow up to be like Him in our actions and attitudes; to grow together in love and fellowship; and to lift up those in need without expecting anything in return. Newsflash! The church does not exist for its members; it exists to bring the Gospel to others. Members of the church are supposed to grow up to take their places in helping make that happen.

Thom Rainer estimates that “we only reach one person for Christ each year for every 85 church members in the United States.” It’s time for all of us to be too busy to complain. Churches don’t need to compete for members. A church that seeks to grow because Christians transfer to it from other churches is not building the Kingdom of God. There are enough unchurched people in America to fill all our churches several times. Our competition is Satan, not the church down the block. Let us point our efforts at him.

Shot in the Back: When Churches Shoot Their Leaders

They call it friendly fire.  On the battlefield it is usually an accident.  A soldier mistakenly fires his weapon and wounds or kills a comrade.  The soldier thought he was shooting at the enemy, but fired directly at one of his own people.  It is a tragedy.  Everyone feels awful, but the soldier that is hit is just as wounded, or just as dead as if he had been shot by the enemy.  Sometimes friendly fire is not so friendly.  It can be intentional to settle some kind of score with an officer or buddy.  Maybe the officer has pushed hard, maybe he has led the unwilling into a difficult place.  Maybe the shooter is just scared or perhaps his intent is evil.

In the church we have incidents of friendly fire. Young Christians, particularly young pastors, are often victims.  We old grizzled veteran pastors have learned to watch out for it, but sometimes even we older ones fail to avoid becoming a target.  Pastors often lead out thinking that their men (the congregation) will follow them, support them, and do everything they can to win the battle with sin and Satan only to find themselves shot in the back, wounded by their own side, with their souls bleeding and no one to help them.  The very ones who should provide help and support are often the ones who have done the shooting.  Is it any wonder that so many of our churches are ineffective in reaching their communities? Is it any wonder that we have a leadership crisis?  Who wants to face an enemy as formidable as Satan when he can’t trust the people behind him to follow and refrain from shooting him or her? 

When a pastor has felt a few bullets whiz by, or has bled because someone who was supposed to be on his side in our battle with Satan shot him or talked someone else into shooting him.  He gets into the habit of looking over his shoulder and sometimes expects friendly fire even when it isn’t coming.  It is hard to do your best as leader when you always have to keep an eye out for shots from behind.

Pastors accept the call from God and work hard to prepare to lead God’s people.  They are full of the Lord and they want to help the church change the world.  I am confident that they are prepared for the battle with Satan, but I also know they are not prepared to be shot at by those that the Lord has called them to lead.  Seldom are they shot because they are not doing God’s will.  Usually it is because some folks in the church are unwilling to follow them in doing God’s will. 

Many people in our established churches are comfortable.  They don’t want things to change in their beloved church.  I sympathize with that.  My hair is gray, too.  I remember a lot of the same things with fondness: large evangelistic Sunday night services, rousing old hymn singing that raised the roof, camp meetings where people came to actually have their lives changed (and not just to be reunited with old friends), and revivals where the Spirit of the Lord moved among us.  I loved those things, too, but these days God is using different things to reach new generations.  Way too often our young ministers are getting shot in the back by the very people that ought to be not only cheering them on, but also following them to reach a lost and dying world.  These young men and women have a heart for God and an impulse from Him to win their generation.  They are often begged by churches to “come and lead us”.  Many times they hear a church say, “We used to be quite large and we can be again if you just come and lead us.  Young couple with families will come and we will grow again.”  That is what churches say, but is that what they really mean?  As soon as the young pastor begins to make the changes in the schedule, in the music, in the program, or in the décor that he believes will help the church reach new people, the shots start coming.  Not shots from the world, but shots from the church!  “That’s not the music we like.”  “That’s not the way dear old Pastor So-and-So did it.”  “That’s not what we built that room for.”  “Why do we need all this video equipment?”  “Those new people you’ve got coming here don’t know how to dress for church.”  Young leaders are just trying to get the Gospel to people in a way they understand, but too many old veteran church people see only that it is not the way it used to be done.  It is the same message of salvation, holy living, and unity among God’s people, but it is packaged a different way.  Like with any new package, some people like it and some don’t.  The thing a lot of older church people don’t realize is that the new packaging is to attract new customers.  Now is the time to present that same Gospel to younger folks who don’t have our background.  This generation of young people have to reach is not like ours.  Most of them weren’t taken or even sent to Sunday school by their parents.  Lots of them don’t know the Bible stories that were so much a part of our growing up.  To them the church is that mysterious big building that people they don’t know go to.  If the church is to make a difference in the lives of these people, we need to support our new leaders as they reach out to an unchurched generation.

Some of us are probably afraid that we are not needed by these young ones.  That is not true.  They desperately need our prayers, our encouragement, and our understanding.  They need us to get their sense of urgency for reaching people for God.  They need us to love them and understand that they are attempting to build the Kingdom of God and quit accusing them of trying to tear up the church.  Young leaders will make mistakes. That’s when they need us to give them the courage to try again.  Put away your critical attitude and become a cheerleader for your young ministers.  Ask God to give you a new burden to reach the lost.  When others of your generation start to run them down, stand up for these dedicated young people.  Love them.  Be surrogate parents for them.  Love their kids like they were your own grandkids.  Many of them are far from their families, and they need the family of God to be family to them.  Finally, when you aim your gun, be sure to aim at the enemy.  When you do damage make sure the damage you do is to the Satan’s cause and not to our own people.

At Tiny Naylor’s on Christmas Morning

As with most people in America, my wife and I love to spend Christmas with our family, and we have always been fortunate enough to do that.  Well almost always. The first ten years of our marriage we lived in sunny California and our parents couldn’t wait to spend the Holidays with us, getting out of the Midwest’s cold and snow.  Later, we had a great time sharing our son with his grandparents every year. We always made a big deal out of every bit of Christmas with the family every year, except one.

For our fourth Christmas together, neither set of parents could get out to be with us.  So it was just the two of us that year.  We had moved to Pasadena, California on the first of December and we didn’t really know anyone there. Because we were at a loss to know what to do with ourselves, on Christmas Eve we went to a big mall.  We had no shopping to do, because we had mailed our presents to our family weeks before. Instead, we slowly wandered the mall, looking around and generally getting in the way of all the last minute shoppers.  Then, we went home and took the dog for a walk while looking at the Christmas lights in our neighborhood.  Our TV was on the fritz, so we listened to the radio.  The L.A. stations had radio drama specials on that night—three different productions of “A Christmas Carol.”  Tina went to bed after the second one, but I heard all three sitting in the dark looking at our Christmas tree. 

The next morning we got up early and opened our presents.  That was fun, but with only the two of us it didn’t take very long.  We decided to go out for breakfast.  There was a little café around the corner named Tiny Naylor’s.  It was an interesting place that morning.  The first thing we noticed was that we were the youngest people in the place, by about 30 years.  The next thing we noticed was that almost everyone was sitting alone.  There were a few other couples, but a lot of the tables had just one occupant.  We ordered and watched the people. The waitresses were extra cheery.  They seemed to understand that their customers were lonely folks.  Instead of feeling resentful that they had to work, they realized that the folks they were serving needed someone to be nice to them.  Everyone took his or her time eating breakfast.  I think most of them had no place else to go.  Tina and I felt very lucky, because even though it was just the two of us that morning, we had an invitation to dinner with one of the families in our new church, and my wife’s parents would be with us in a couple of days. 

I’ll never forget that morning because it was the first time I realized how lonely Christmas can be for people who are unattached.  Those folks were lonely … and quiet.  I have always wondered what was in their thoughts.  I’m sure some were mourning the passing of a loved one or a relationship that had ended.  Others were probably harboring anger and bitterness toward someone.  Still others may well have been glad to be alone so they didn’t have to put up with the people in their families that day.  I’m pretty sure that many of them just wanted the day to be over so they could get back to their regular lives.  Perhaps there were others who, like my wife and I, were just biding time until they could join a celebration with people they loved. 

I still love the presents (both giving and receiving) the music, the movies, the church presentations, the decorations, everything.  But the memory of that breakfast at Tiny Naylor’s keeps me sensitive to those who don’t enjoy the season the way I do.  It also helps keep the wonder of the real meaning of Christmas the main thing for me.  Whether or not we celebrate with family and friends, and whether or not we enjoy the traditional celebrations, it is important to remember that it is all about God’s Son being born to show His love for us and to redeem us from our sins.  That, my friends, is cause for celebration under any circumstances—big and brassy, or low key and quiet.   

If Church Growth is Not the Point, What Is?

Ok, I know the term church growth is out of style and that it really bothers some people in Christian leadership circles.  (I find that the ire it raises in church leaders is often directly proportional to the growth or lack of growth of the churches they have led.)  I also know that for some church growth has become all about numbers and dollars and making the pastor a star.  You can call it church growth, or you can say it is the church doing the mission, or being the church, or call it the missional church.  The point is to get more people to become disciples of Jesus Christ.  Just as healthy, normal human bodies grow, healthy, normal churches grow.  If the church is a group that truly cares about each other and worries that friends and neighbors are headed for hell, it will grow.  In fact, I think if a church lives up to Jesus’ purpose for it, it can’t help but grow.  Strip it all down to the most basic terms and you find that our assignment is to do the Great Commandments of loving God and loving others, and to fulfill the Great Commission to make disciples.  If a group is doing that, people will want to be a part of the fellowship. 

What bugs me are the lids that church people and even some church leaders put on the church.  These lids keep the church from being what God designed her to be.  Here are a few of the most popular lids.  You can probably add to the list:

We want to know everybody.

If your church has an attendance over 40 you don’t know everyone.  Besides if you know everyone the church has not been reaching out.

We want to grow spiritually.  It is not necessary for us to grow numerically. 

If you are growing spiritually you should be learning how desperately people need the Gospel. 

We need to keep traditions alive. 

Not if they get in the way of helping people find the love, hope and salvation Christ offers.

We might offend some people in the church. 

Apologize and refer them to the mission to save the lost.

We might offend some unbelievers. 

The Gospel often offends the people who need it the most.

I actually know of pastors who say they don’t want any more people because they don’t want to work that hard. 

Get another job.  Check your calling.  Maybe you shouldn’t be leading a church.

If we grow we will need to expand our building and that is expensive. 

First of all, there are alternatives.  Second, get over your fear and trust God to provide.

We might get new people who are not like us. 

Expand your horizon.  It was tough for the early Jewish Christians to accept Gentile believers.  Grow up.

The pastor won’t be able to give me as much attention. 

Grow up and let other members of the body minister to you.

If we grow someone might come to church that sings better than I do and he will get all the solos (or play piano, guitar, etc.)            

Listen to yourself.  When did the church become about you?

If we grow there will be new people in leadership and I won’t have as much control. Jesus should be in control anyway.  Why do you need to be in control?  Whose church is this?  Is it yours because you give a lot, or Jesus’ church because He paid for it with His blood?

If a church is going to grow, or become truly missional, or truly be the church, it will have to face up to these lids and find ways of removing them.  Hopefully, that means the people will have a change of heart and realize that it is more important for their neighbor to find Jesus than it is for them to have things their own way.  Unfortunately, too often the only ways those lids are removed is for certain people to leave in a huff.  Many church plants are started because the pastor discovered it was easier to start a church from scratch than to remove lids at an established church. 

All of us … from the church leader, to the seminary professor, to Joe and Mary pewsitter … need to look at ourselves.  Am I a lid?  Is my talk or my attitude keeping the church from building God’s Kingdom?  What scares me about the growth of my church, and why?  How does God want me to work to help other people become followers of Christ?