I want to finish up what I have to say about how a church can become winsome. By winsome, I mean inviting; a place where guests feel accepted, comfortable, and loved. Today I am combining my 4th and 5th thoughts on this subject because I think they are closely related.
4. Do everything you can to make guests feel welcome, but don't single them out. I have found that many people are embarrassed to stand in the service. They feel like they are on display. Almost as bad, is to make the guest wear a special "Visitor" tag. A name tag Sunday where everyone wears similar name tags can be helpful, but "Visitor" tags are not a good idea. Churches make visitors stand and label them in an effort to make sure they can know who to welcome. Actually, I think the reason is often so that regulars will not be embarrassed by mistaking a fellow regular attender for a visitor. Personally, I don't see the problem with that. If the regular attenders don't know each other, they need to meet anyway. Why can't they just laugh it off and become friends? However, if you feel that you must identify guests, give them a welcome packet or gift that is too big for a pocket or a purse. Then teach regular attenders to look for people carrying the welcome packet/gift. I attended worship at a church recently where the only people who knew me were the pastor and one of his associates. Even though I was not recognized or tagged as a visitor in any way, 5 or 6 people not only shook my hand, but spoke to me for several moments. This is a church that expects visitors and wants them there. I felt welcomed, but not overwhelmed. That is what we should all shoot for.
5. Here are some other things that must occur if you are actually expecting new people to come to your church.
a.) Whether you call it the foyer, the narthex, or the lobby, the entrance area needs to be uncluttered and welcoming. If you are building or remodeling your church, make sure the entry is larger than you think you will need and that it is well thought out.
b.) The nursery, children's area, and the rest rooms must be clean, and appropriately decorated. The stuff you don't want in your home anymore, is not good enough for God's house. If you would be uncomfortable to have a piece of furniture in your house, don't put it in the church.
c.) Don't be afraid to get creative when decorating the youth, children, and nursery areas. Make them age appropriate and fun. This does not take a lot of money, just some imagination and effort. Remember, if the kids want to come back the parents are more likely bring them again.
d.) Nursery and children's workers must be present early, and come equipped with a smile for every family, including the new ones. Procedures for the nursery should be explained by a worker and printed for the guest to have. Children's church workers should make sure the parents know where their children will be, and where and when they should be picked up. If parents or children are reluctant to take advantage of the nursery or children's church, help them to feel fine about worshipping together.
e.) Go the extra mile to make sure the restrooms, particularly the ladies rooms, are clean and attractive.
Many people decide whether or not they are coming back before the worship service even begins. If the entry is a mess, if the restrooms are uncomfortable, or if the children's areas are not desirable, many guests will right the church off before they even know it. First impressions count for churches, just like they do for individuals.
You and I should be making friends with people who don't know the Lord, and when we do, I hope we will want to invite them to worship with us. As they come, the church should help us present a witness of Christ in every way. Again, be winsome to win some.
What did I leave out? What else can the church do on Sunday morning to support our witness to our friends and neighbors?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Winsome Church 3
Let me continue again this time exploring what it takes for a church to become a winsome church, so that, it, by all means might win some. Members of the church should be able to feel condident that when their unchurched friends visits their church, they will find a welcome that is practically irresistable. This is my third rant on this subject.
3. Pastor you must lead the way in this. Anytime the church gathers, the pastor should do his/her best to let guests know he is glad to have the guests there. This is particulary true on Sunday morning. I suggest the pastor spend the last 15-20 minutes before the service in the worship room greeting the people, with an eye out for guests. Some pastors will say that they are in prayer for the service at that time. A few will admit they are cramming for their sermon like a college student getting ready for a final. But that few minutes before worship are critical for meeting and greeting guests. The emphasis of your personal greeting time should be the guests, especially ones who appear to be unattached to any of the members. You would do no less than this at home. It's the same as when company comes to your house. You concentrate on them, and expect the family to do the same. To do otherwise, would be rude. The old custom of the pastor appearing as worship begins is not very helpful. Do your praying, that's obviously important, but finish in time to greet your guests. Meeting the pastor puts people at ease,and begins a relationship. If they have seen the pastor up close, there is a better chance that they will be able to identify with him, and what he says in his message. Give them your name and invite them to tell you theirs. They may not want to tell you theirs. Don't assume a couple is married, and don't seek to define the relationship. Let them tell you what they want to tell you. Some folks will want to talk a lot. Others will want to be more or less invisible. They will appreciate your greeting, but they may not yet feel at ease enough to talk with you. Grow antennae and adjust to the guest
At some point, before or during the service, guests should be asked to fill out the welcome card, or a registration (Know Your Neighbor) form, so that the pastor can send a letter on Monday telling them how glad he is that they visited. Be sure to ask them to put the card in the offering or hand it you a staff member, an usher, or a greeter. I suggest that you assure guests that they will not find you camped out on their doorstep. Rather tell them you would like to be able to send them a note thanking them for coming and some information about what is happening at the church. A hand written note from a lay person is a great plus, too. Years ago, we used to try to visit everyone who visited the church. I found that worked pretty well, until about 1985. After that, it became harder to get people to open the door, and many felt uneasy about the pastor being there. I would have thought it was just a reaction to me, but many other pastors have reported the same thing. People in general, seldom drop by other folks homes anymore. This has been a change in our culture. Make sure there is a place on the registration card where they can indicate that they would like a call from the pastor. When someone checks this box, the pastor should respond with a phone call on Monday. If they want a visit, let them invite you to their home.
The point is that the pastor should be very involved in putting guests at ease. His example can serve as a model for all the greeters and, hopefully, all the members.
Does anybody know some other ways the pastor can put guests at ease?
3. Pastor you must lead the way in this. Anytime the church gathers, the pastor should do his/her best to let guests know he is glad to have the guests there. This is particulary true on Sunday morning. I suggest the pastor spend the last 15-20 minutes before the service in the worship room greeting the people, with an eye out for guests. Some pastors will say that they are in prayer for the service at that time. A few will admit they are cramming for their sermon like a college student getting ready for a final. But that few minutes before worship are critical for meeting and greeting guests. The emphasis of your personal greeting time should be the guests, especially ones who appear to be unattached to any of the members. You would do no less than this at home. It's the same as when company comes to your house. You concentrate on them, and expect the family to do the same. To do otherwise, would be rude. The old custom of the pastor appearing as worship begins is not very helpful. Do your praying, that's obviously important, but finish in time to greet your guests. Meeting the pastor puts people at ease,and begins a relationship. If they have seen the pastor up close, there is a better chance that they will be able to identify with him, and what he says in his message. Give them your name and invite them to tell you theirs. They may not want to tell you theirs. Don't assume a couple is married, and don't seek to define the relationship. Let them tell you what they want to tell you. Some folks will want to talk a lot. Others will want to be more or less invisible. They will appreciate your greeting, but they may not yet feel at ease enough to talk with you. Grow antennae and adjust to the guest
At some point, before or during the service, guests should be asked to fill out the welcome card, or a registration (Know Your Neighbor) form, so that the pastor can send a letter on Monday telling them how glad he is that they visited. Be sure to ask them to put the card in the offering or hand it you a staff member, an usher, or a greeter. I suggest that you assure guests that they will not find you camped out on their doorstep. Rather tell them you would like to be able to send them a note thanking them for coming and some information about what is happening at the church. A hand written note from a lay person is a great plus, too. Years ago, we used to try to visit everyone who visited the church. I found that worked pretty well, until about 1985. After that, it became harder to get people to open the door, and many felt uneasy about the pastor being there. I would have thought it was just a reaction to me, but many other pastors have reported the same thing. People in general, seldom drop by other folks homes anymore. This has been a change in our culture. Make sure there is a place on the registration card where they can indicate that they would like a call from the pastor. When someone checks this box, the pastor should respond with a phone call on Monday. If they want a visit, let them invite you to their home.
The point is that the pastor should be very involved in putting guests at ease. His example can serve as a model for all the greeters and, hopefully, all the members.
Does anybody know some other ways the pastor can put guests at ease?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Winsome Church 2
Last week I shared the first blog about how a church can become a winsome church. In other words, a place where visitors feel welcome and members can feel exited about inviting their friends. Let me start this one with a true story about how not to do it.
A few years ago I was invited to speak at my mother's church for Mother's Day. It was an honor because I had attended there from ages 6 to 12. The service was just as I remembered it from 40 years before: same songs, same organ, even the same organist. It was also the same people, not nearly as many as before. I was one of the younger ones attending that day. Everyone was very nice to me, but after the service, I had an opportunity to stand off to the side as coffee was served. The people were encouraged to chat for a few minutes. I noticed couple was standing there with two children, and I could tell, by their shyness that they were new, and by their dress they were from the neighborhood which had run down over the years. Literally, no one spoke to this couple. As they left, I heard the 80 something year-old church secretary say to one of the other old timers, "What were they here for?" Obviously, she was unimpressed with their jeans, and their tatoos. The end of this story is that about 18 months later the Bishop closed the church. It had literally died, as had so many of the old timers.
This could never happen at your church. Are you sure? What are you doing to prevent it from happening? Here are a few ideas:
Before and after church, it is important for old friends to put off their conversations until the guests have been thoroughly welcomed. In fact, the church should be intentional and strategic about welcoming visitors. From the moment he comes on the church property the new person should begin to realize that you planned for his arrival, and you want him to be with you. It starts outside the front door, with a greeter offering a warm hello, and help with the door. Actually, it should start in the parking lot, especially if it is large one, or if it is not near the main entrance.
Once inside the building, greeters should be outgoing people. This is not the job for someone who is afraid of people, or for the one with offensive personal habits. The greeter, or the welcoming team, should be able to direct guests to the nursery, the children's area, and the youth area, as well as the worship room. Most of all, they should know where the restrooms are. Greeters should find out who invited the guest and try to help the new person connect with their inviter. If that is not possible. introduce them to someone else in the church. Be sensitive, some folks want to slip in with little notice. Don't force anyone to do anything. The point is for the guest to feel accepted, comfortable and loved. If the church has a welcome center, it should be manned early, and attractive welcome packets should be available.
As a backup to personal contact, the church should have good signage. I am amazed that many churches don't have signs at all. The sign should be sure to tell the worship times. Guest parking signs should be posted at the best parking places. (Staff, board members, and other members who want the church to be welcoming to guests should park at the back of the lot to leave room for guests.) The main entrance must be easily identifiable. Inside the building, there should be signs directing guests to the welcome center, the restrooms, the nursery and the worship room. Don't take for granted that new people will be able to find anything. If your church was built in the before very recently it may be difficult for people to even find the right door to enter. How embarassing it is for a guest family to find itself wandering all alone in strange building, and their six year-old needs to find the rest room, now! Remember, signs are to back up personal contact, not take the place of it.
The whole idea is for first experience of someone you may, or may not have invited, to be as comfortable as you can possibly make it.
A few years ago I was invited to speak at my mother's church for Mother's Day. It was an honor because I had attended there from ages 6 to 12. The service was just as I remembered it from 40 years before: same songs, same organ, even the same organist. It was also the same people, not nearly as many as before. I was one of the younger ones attending that day. Everyone was very nice to me, but after the service, I had an opportunity to stand off to the side as coffee was served. The people were encouraged to chat for a few minutes. I noticed couple was standing there with two children, and I could tell, by their shyness that they were new, and by their dress they were from the neighborhood which had run down over the years. Literally, no one spoke to this couple. As they left, I heard the 80 something year-old church secretary say to one of the other old timers, "What were they here for?" Obviously, she was unimpressed with their jeans, and their tatoos. The end of this story is that about 18 months later the Bishop closed the church. It had literally died, as had so many of the old timers.
This could never happen at your church. Are you sure? What are you doing to prevent it from happening? Here are a few ideas:
Before and after church, it is important for old friends to put off their conversations until the guests have been thoroughly welcomed. In fact, the church should be intentional and strategic about welcoming visitors. From the moment he comes on the church property the new person should begin to realize that you planned for his arrival, and you want him to be with you. It starts outside the front door, with a greeter offering a warm hello, and help with the door. Actually, it should start in the parking lot, especially if it is large one, or if it is not near the main entrance.
Once inside the building, greeters should be outgoing people. This is not the job for someone who is afraid of people, or for the one with offensive personal habits. The greeter, or the welcoming team, should be able to direct guests to the nursery, the children's area, and the youth area, as well as the worship room. Most of all, they should know where the restrooms are. Greeters should find out who invited the guest and try to help the new person connect with their inviter. If that is not possible. introduce them to someone else in the church. Be sensitive, some folks want to slip in with little notice. Don't force anyone to do anything. The point is for the guest to feel accepted, comfortable and loved. If the church has a welcome center, it should be manned early, and attractive welcome packets should be available.
As a backup to personal contact, the church should have good signage. I am amazed that many churches don't have signs at all. The sign should be sure to tell the worship times. Guest parking signs should be posted at the best parking places. (Staff, board members, and other members who want the church to be welcoming to guests should park at the back of the lot to leave room for guests.) The main entrance must be easily identifiable. Inside the building, there should be signs directing guests to the welcome center, the restrooms, the nursery and the worship room. Don't take for granted that new people will be able to find anything. If your church was built in the before very recently it may be difficult for people to even find the right door to enter. How embarassing it is for a guest family to find itself wandering all alone in strange building, and their six year-old needs to find the rest room, now! Remember, signs are to back up personal contact, not take the place of it.
The whole idea is for first experience of someone you may, or may not have invited, to be as comfortable as you can possibly make it.
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