The Other Side of Giving

II Corinthians 9:7 tells us that God loves a cheerful giver. Some people do give cheerfully, but many have a tough time with that. Last week I said that we get (have the privilege) of giving to God’s work through His church. This time, I want to look at the other side of giving. The side that is not so cheerful.

Some folks have a hard time giving cheerfully because their financial picture is bleak. They have over-obligated their income. This happens to people of all income levels. Several years ago, I read a news magazine article that claimed the average American family spends 110% of its income. How does anyone get happy about giving away 10% or more of his income if he is already spending more than he is making? If someone in this financial shape decides to become a tither, how can he do it? Some folks say, “Just have faith and give, then God will take care of everything.” I am the last one to say that God can’t do something, but I have found that He expects us to do our part, too. Some people are so far in debt that if they give 10%, they are not really giving their own money. They are giving away money that belongs to someone they have promised to pay. Seems to me, that is a form of stealing, and I don’t think God takes too kindly to the breaking of the 8th commandment, even if it enables the person to give. I suggest that the over-obligated person, who truly wants to become a cheerful giver, should set tithing as a goal and plan a strategy to pay off bills. Then he can enjoy the honor of giving. In the meantime, he should begin giving a small percentage, and, as bills are paid off, increase that percentage. I believe God blesses that kind of faith.

There are some people who give to get. The hard fact is that some preachers encourage this attitude. I once saw a television preacher look straight into the camera and say, “I guarantee, if you send $50 to my ministry, God will give you that job you need, or the raise in pay you have been hoping for.” I think he had a desperate need for money to build something important: like a Six Flags over Jesus theme park. (A few years later that particular preacher got caught up in a sex and money scandal and wound up spending several years in prison.) It is very true that God promises to bless those who give generously. The thing that is often forgotten is that God gets to choose what the blessing will be. If you give some money, even sacrificially, so that you can get even more money, you may well be disappointed. God may choose to bless you financially, but He may instead bless you with the ability to do without the new car, or house you were hoping for. He may bless you by teaching you how to be contented without the raise, or by helping you find a training opportunity for a job in a new field. Make no mistake, God blesses the giver. The giver has to be ready for whatever blessing God decides to give.

The other side of giving shows up another way: when people give to the Lord, but keep strings attached. Sometimes people feel that because they give to the church they should have the final say on how their money is used and what the church does. If they don’t like a program or a staff member, they withhold, or threaten to withhold, their tithe. Perhaps they make a lovely gift in memory of a loved one, and then limit the ways that gift (a room, a building, a table, etc.) can be used. This kind of thinking can cripple a church. The church winds up worrying about pleasing people who have already passed on, instead of reaching the lost.

Finally, it is hard to be cheerful about giving if you continue to think about what else you could have done with the money. Often new tithers do this. They can’t help thinking, “If only I had kept that 10%, I would have enough to take that fine vacation, buy that boat, or order a bigger steak.” The good news is that if they persist in tithing, most people will grow out of this attitude, but for some people it proves to be extremely difficult.

Let us examine our attitudes toward giving and toward what we have given. Are you giving your money, or someone else’s? As you give, are you planning what you will do with the financial blessing you expect God to give you? When you put your offering in the plate, do you let go of it? When you give, can you be excited that God is going to use it, or do you brood about what you could have spent it on? – Or are you becoming a cheerful giver.

Wow! We Get to Give!!

Christ-followers are called on to be giving people. All of us are to be givers. Some folks have the spiritual gift of giving, or liberality, and are wired to give very generously. Often these folks have a lot of resources to share, but not always. Some folks, who don’t have much, are gifted to give far beyond what would be expected. The rest of us, even if we don’t have the gift of giving, do have the role of giving. I am one of those people. I love to give, and I feel honored to fulfill the role of giving my tithe and more, but I am not particularly gifted in giving. When someone with the gift of giving sees a need, his/her first move is to reach for his wallet. My first moves are to try to figure out a way to keep the problem from repeating itself (gift of administration), and how to learn from the situation (teaching). When someone who is a gifted giver suggests we all chip in, I am glad to do that. Often, I wish I had thought of doing it, but it is not generally my first reaction.

The Bible teaches a lot about giving. In the Old Testament a tithe (10%) is required to support the ministry of the temple. (If you read closely, it looks like the tithe is required three times a year so that would be a 30% annual gift) Old Testament people didn’t feel like they were giving an offering until after they had put in their tithe. The tithe reminds us that all we have comes from God, and “returning the tithe” is the way for us to acknowledge his generosity to us. So when you hear people talk about tithes and offerings, it is not really two words for the same thing. Tithes are what God requires, while offerings are our gifts to him and his work. The tithe was to support the temple, today, that would be supporting the church. Offerings might be for many things, like building projects, mission work, or special needs.

In the New Testament, money was a major topic for Jesus, and the Apostle Paul urged the church at Corinth:
On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. 1 Corinthians 16:2 (NIV)
This could indicate a sliding percentage scale. In light of what the Old Testament says, (of which Paul was a major student) 10% is the baseline of giving for the Christ-follower. If God has enabled us to have a better income, we should expect that he may well want us to give away more.

Giving is to be a joyous experience. We get to be part of what God is doing! God allows us to share in his great work in this world. What a privilege! What an honor to be allowed to partner with him! God could have chosen another way to finance his mission, but he his chosen method is to enable us to make a living, and then rely on us to share our living with his work.

Next time: “The Other Side of Giving”

God's Answers to Our Prayers

Yes it is true that God offers three answers to our prayers: Yes, No, and Wait. In my last posting I spent some time discussing the fact that God gets to choose which answer He gives to any particular prayer. This time, I want to look at these three answers. We’ll start with the one that may be the most difficult to accept, then move to the one that is most difficult to live with and finally with the one we all hope for when we pray.

If God is truly our heavenly Father and has our best interests at heart, He must, from time to time, tell us “No.” It is a poor father who never says no to the child he loves. No keeps the child from harm and from the wrong path. God’s no’s to us do the same. In addition, He knows the future and how we are designed to fit into it. Many times His no’s not only keep us from going the wrong way, but also keep us on the best way. For us, just like for a child, no is hard to accept. It goes against what we want now, and it may go against what we have carefully thought out. God’s no may go against our best judgment; in fact, we may not even be able to see how no can be the right answer. That is when we must bend our will to accept God’s wisdom.

The good thing about no is that it can be freeing. It can establish boundaries and help us focus on who God wants us to be and what He wants us to do. My wife was diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis on her 18th birthday. The doctor told an athletic, beauty queen, pianist, valedictorian that she had a disease that would cripple her. It just didn’t seem right. In all her young life anything she tried, she had mastered. She thought, as did I when we met and married, that this disease would not stand. We were sure that God would give her a healing. We prayed for it. All our friends prayed for it. In addition, Tina tried all the drugs, vitamins, diets, and quackery she could find thinking that one of them might be the way God would use to remove the pain to heal her.

Instead, twelve years later she was confined to a wheel chair and dying from a side effect of the arthritis. The doctors were telling her that, at best, she would never walk again. The pain was so great that it would wake her up in the middle of the night. One night, as I sat up with her, she told me that she felt that the Lord had told her no concerning her healing. I argued with her that the answer was wait, but she said she was okay with no. She went on to explain that with wait, she had been putting a lot of things on hold “until I feel better”. Now that she had the assurance that her answer was no, she could begin living life and dealing with the abilities she had, rather than sitting and waiting until she felt like her old self. So, she started getting the most out of each day and did as much as her little body would let her. She learned new skills, found new interests, and discovered a new purpose for her life, and a different Tina.

Rheumatoid Arthritis changed her life. A “Yes” from God would have meant a healing that would have enabled her to continue with her old vision and purpose of her life. Accepting the no allowed her to find out what else God had for her to do. As a result, even though, R.A. changed her life, it didn’t ruin it. Her health is now better, but she still struggles every day with the disease. In the last 23 years she has had 43 surgeries. More important than that, she has learned to walk again, graduated from college, become a children’s pastor and ordained as minister. Tina began writing and by now has written children’s Sunday school curriculum for more than 20 years. She is the author of 6 children’s ministry books. She is now the editor of the children’s ministry magazine, “K!”, and writes an online children’s church curriculum, “Kitchen”, for Kidzmatter, and a sought-after children’s ministry workshop leader.

God sometimes answers no, but if He does, He has something else in mind for us. We may not see it right away. In fact, we may not see it until all things are clear to us in eternity. Obviously, no is not our first choice, but it is God who does the choosing. If He is truly our Lord and we are truly His followers, then let us put our trust in Him.

Why Aren't My Prayers Answered?

In the next couple of blogs I plan to deal with prayer. This first one takes a look at what is probably the most asked question about it:

Have you ever heard someone say, "Why aren't my prayers answered?" Maybe you have heard those words come out of your own mouth, or at least formed them in your mind. Actually, this is a question that bugs most Christ-followers at some time or other. I have learned that God always answers my prayers. Sometimes I don't get the answer I want, but he always answers me. It is when his answer to my prayer is not what I was expecting or hoping for that I am tempted to say he didn't answer it.

It is often said that God answers prayer in three ways: Yes, No, and Wait. But some folks will accept only yeses. They remind us that Bible tells us to ask for anything and it will be done, or all we have to do is ask, seek and knock. I ferverently believe what the Bible says about that. However, if you check those passages out, you will find that somewhere in the context the Bible talks about being in God's will, or asking in his name, or the context assumes the asker is submitted to God's will. The supreme example of this is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane on the evening before he was crucified. He asked the Father to find a way, which didn't require the cross, to redeem the world. Then he ended saying, "Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39 (NIV)

Some people are sure that if they don't get what they want, God hasn't understood their rationale for the answer they want. So they keep repeating it, and "claiming" it. Jesus encouraged us to be persistent in prayer, so, of course, we should. The problem comes when persistence becomes insistence. Subtley the request becomes an order, and the petitioner becomes a demanding boss. This doesn't work because God is the King, and none of us is. We are to submit to him, not he to us. God gave us the right to ask for what we need, and even for what we want, but he does not give us the right to tell him what to do.

Got comments for me? I would love to hear them. I know not everyone agrees with me. So let me hear from me.

Next Time: "God's Answers to Our Prayers"

Dead Man Walking - The Apostle Paul

The Apostle Paul faced the cruelest persecutions imaginable and about every kind of difficulty you can think of. Yet, time after time in his writings he shares his joy and encourages his fellow Christ-followers to rejoice. This week I am posting a message that I preached last year at First Church of God in Kokomo, Indiana about this amazing hero, Paul - Dead Man Walking. Please give a listen. I hope it will both inspire and challenge you to live your life with Paul's kind of tenacity and joy.

Click:  http://tinahouser.net/RaysMessages/index.html to hear "Dead Man Walking - The Apostle Paul"

What Kind of Church is Yours?

Some of you who know me well may have heard me talk about this subject at some time or other, but I have never written these thoughts down, so here goes!

What kind of church do you attend? What kind of church do you wish your church was? What kind of church does God want His church to be? I am not talking about denomination or size. I'm talking about the emphasis and atmosphere of the church.

Some churches are museums. As near as I can tell, the main reason they exist must be to preserve the past. The building probably hasn't changed in years and even if it has been updated, the programs are straight from fifty years ago. Many times they can't change the building because every room, and, perhaps, even all its furniture is dedicated to the memory or the honor of someone who is now long gone. That is, they are gone until someone tries to move or change something, then it seems like they have come back with a vengeance in the uproar caused by their descendants. These churches can't change the programs because, well, we have always had that program. It doesn't matter that the program is no longer relevant and the few who participate do so only out of loyalty. Museums may be nice places to visit now and then to see what used to be, but they are not places that people go to get things done, or to make a difference in the world.

Some churches are stadiums. The crowd watches while a few professionals perform. If the professionals are particularly talented and their performance pleases the crowd, then the crowd raves about it and the number of attenders swells. The crowd's purpose is to pay their money and soak up the excitement. At this kind of church the Gospel is presented and some people find a relationship with Jesus, but there is not much of a place for them to grow and serve. If the professionals hit a losing streak, and the performance is not up to expectations the seats are soon empty. Stadiums are cold, drafty and lonely once the crowd thins out.

It seems to me that many churches these days are exclusive clubs. They would not admit it, but just let the wrong person try to become part of the fellowship. Then their club characteristics come out. Some churches are exclusive to people of a particular race or ethnic group, some to an educational level or social strata, and some to a style of dress or some other standard. I have observed that many congregations these days seem to be determined to be a club for senior citizens. While they lament the lack of younger people, and say they long for the energy that youth would bring, the manner the church worships, dresses, the music it uses, and the programs it employs, are all designed for people of "a certain age." They are suspicious of technology, mostly because it is different. Younger folks are welcome if they like old music, and old ways. What is wrong with at church wanting to appeal to its old members, or have a certain standard for its membership. Nothing, I suppose, if only it would advertise itself as a Christian club instead of a church. Then they could hang out a sign that honestly describes who may apply for membership. A true church is a place where whosoever will may come. "Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life." Revelation 22:17 (NIV)

Thankfully, some churches choose to be what I like to call Spiritual Medical Centers. These are places where people find healing for their souls and then learn to share that healing with others. Medical center churches know why they exist: to make disciples. They use the most up to date methods, and equipment they can find to help them do this. The emphasis is on the person who is hurting and needs attention. Everything that happens at a physical medical center has to do with healing the sick and injured. Everyone from the surgeon, to the administrator, to the nurse, to the custodian, has a job to do that helps the physical medical center fulfill its purpose. At a medical center church everything is about not only getting people to accept the cure for their sin, but also about learning to live healthy lives in Christ. Then they learn to share the cure, and the health they are finding with whoever they can. There are a lot of things to be done, but all of them point to sharing love, hope and salvation with others. All the people who regularly attend the medical center church see themselves as part of this great work. The medical center church doesn't exist for those who are already part of it, but for those who need it. It is not picky about who comes in the door, or where they have been. It just wants to bring them into an encounter with the Lord. Members of a medical center church realize that fulfilling the mission is much more important than their preferences. These are the churches that build God's Kingdom and have a great affect on the community.

I am always looking for other kinds of churches. What kinds can you think of? I have long used the metaphor of the medical center for a healthy church. Can you think of other good metaphors that help explain what a healthy church should look like? Please share your thoughts with me.

The Winsome Church 4

I want to finish up what I have to say about how a church can become winsome. By winsome, I mean inviting; a place where guests feel accepted, comfortable, and loved. Today I am combining my 4th and 5th thoughts on this subject because I think they are closely related.

4. Do everything you can to make guests feel welcome, but don't single them out. I have found that many people are embarrassed to stand in the service. They feel like they are on display. Almost as bad, is to make the guest wear a special "Visitor" tag. A name tag Sunday where everyone wears similar name tags can be helpful, but "Visitor" tags are not a good idea. Churches make visitors stand and label them in an effort to make sure they can know who to welcome. Actually, I think the reason is often so that regulars will not be embarrassed by mistaking a fellow regular attender for a visitor. Personally, I don't see the problem with that. If the regular attenders don't know each other, they need to meet anyway. Why can't they just laugh it off and become friends? However, if you feel that you must identify guests, give them a welcome packet or gift that is too big for a pocket or a purse. Then teach regular attenders to look for people carrying the welcome packet/gift. I attended worship at a church recently where the only people who knew me were the pastor and one of his associates. Even though I was not recognized or tagged as a visitor in any way, 5 or 6 people not only shook my hand, but spoke to me for several moments. This is a church that expects visitors and wants them there. I felt welcomed, but not overwhelmed. That is what we should all shoot for.

5. Here are some other things that must occur if you are actually expecting new people to come to your church.
a.) Whether you call it the foyer, the narthex, or the lobby, the entrance area needs to be uncluttered and welcoming. If you are building or remodeling your church, make sure the entry is larger than you think you will need and that it is well thought out.
b.) The nursery, children's area, and the rest rooms must be clean, and appropriately decorated. The stuff you don't want in your home anymore, is not good enough for God's house. If you would be uncomfortable to have a piece of furniture in your house, don't put it in the church.
c.) Don't be afraid to get creative when decorating the youth, children, and nursery areas. Make them age appropriate and fun. This does not take a lot of money, just some imagination and effort. Remember, if the kids want to come back the parents are more likely bring them again.
d.) Nursery and children's workers must be present early, and come equipped with a smile for every family, including the new ones. Procedures for the nursery should be explained by a worker and printed for the guest to have. Children's church workers should make sure the parents know where their children will be, and where and when they should be picked up. If parents or children are reluctant to take advantage of the nursery or children's church, help them to feel fine about worshipping together.
e.) Go the extra mile to make sure the restrooms, particularly the ladies rooms, are clean and attractive.

Many people decide whether or not they are coming back before the worship service even begins. If the entry is a mess, if the restrooms are uncomfortable, or if the children's areas are not desirable, many guests will right the church off before they even know it. First impressions count for churches, just like they do for individuals.

You and I should be making friends with people who don't know the Lord, and when we do, I hope we will want to invite them to worship with us. As they come, the church should help us present a witness of Christ in every way. Again, be winsome to win some.

What did I leave out? What else can the church do on Sunday morning to support our witness to our friends and neighbors?