Is Your Church Like a Toys R Us or the Post Office?

Before Christmas my wife and I made the trip that every grandparent of year-old twins must make. We went to Toys R Us to look for some fun presents. I hadn’t been in a toy store since our son, the twin’s father, was the toy receiver in our family. When we entered the store, someone asked us if we needed help, which was to be expected. Soon another employee offered to help us. I began to think we must have looked lost, which we were, but we declined the help. Not two minutes later someone else asked us if there was something she could show us. A minute or two later another employee, I think it was the manager, asked if they could help us find something in particular. This happened about 10 times in the 40 minutes or so we were in the store. Frankly, I was impressed. The store was not jammed, but it was busy. (There were about 10 shopping days until Christmas.) They clearly wanted our business.

A few weeks after Christmas, I went to a post office in a neighboring town to mail a few packages. I send packages often, so I had everything needed and ready and I thought I would be in and out of there pretty fast. But I had never been to this particular post office. I stood in line (I have never been a patient line stander) while the two clerks moved at what seemed to me to be a glacial pace. There were only four people ahead of me, and their transactions didn’t seem complicated. The clerks simply moved slowly and made a lot of small talk. At one point a man who looked like a supervisor came out to the counter area, and I thought he was going to step up to one of the unused workstations and help serve the line of people, which had by now reached out of the door. Instead, he just stood there. He didn’t say anything to the clerks, he didn’t help them, and he didn’t help us. Then another man came out and stood next to him, joining him in looking at the line of impatient customers. None of the post office employees seemed to care that their customers were dissatisfied.

What is the difference? I think it is primarily this: the people at Toys R Us were very aware that they were not the only place that this grandpa could buy gifts for his grandkids. On the other hand, the post office personnel were just as aware that they were pretty much the only place in that town where I could send my packages. Toys R Us wanted their customers to be happy and satisfied. The post office (at least that particular post office) didn’t care if the customers were happy or satisfied.

Some churches act like the post office. They act like they are the only place people can go to worship, and don’t seem to care if new people come. Their concern for visitors and prospective members is very low. They have their church and their salvation. “Let the others find their own,” is the attitude they project. People can’t find a place to park? Who cares? The toilets are dirty, ugly, out of style, and /or hard to find? Let them use the bathroom at home. The nursery is inadequately staffed? Who cares? I took care of my own kids. I didn’t need a nursery?

Other churches are like Toys R Us. If people come anywhere near their church they do anything they can to make them feel welcome and do whatever they can to serve them. Visitor parking is near the door and clearly marked. The bathrooms are clean and easy to find. The nursery is beautifully decorated and staffed by competent, smiling people. They have people who actually talk to newcomers and are interested in seeing newcomers become members. The whole church makes it easy for a new person to decide to make that church their home.

Take a look at your church this Sunday. Remember this, the things that bug people at a place like the post office, like lack of attention and apathetic service, also bother people who are looking for a church. Watch what happens at your church. If you are the pastor, get somebody to be your spy. Try to get the feel for what it would be like to come to your church for the first time. Take note of how welcome you would feel if you were the newcomer. Then, declare yourself a committee of one to do what you can to make people feel welcome at your church. Asking to help me was not the primary job of everyone at Toy-R-Us, but they certainly knew it was important, and all of them did what they could to make sure I had a good experience. What are you doing to make sure your church visitors have a good experience when they visit your church?

The Winsome Church 4

I want to finish up what I have to say about how a church can become winsome. By winsome, I mean inviting; a place where guests feel accepted, comfortable, and loved. Today I am combining my 4th and 5th thoughts on this subject because I think they are closely related.

4. Do everything you can to make guests feel welcome, but don't single them out. I have found that many people are embarrassed to stand in the service. They feel like they are on display. Almost as bad, is to make the guest wear a special "Visitor" tag. A name tag Sunday where everyone wears similar name tags can be helpful, but "Visitor" tags are not a good idea. Churches make visitors stand and label them in an effort to make sure they can know who to welcome. Actually, I think the reason is often so that regulars will not be embarrassed by mistaking a fellow regular attender for a visitor. Personally, I don't see the problem with that. If the regular attenders don't know each other, they need to meet anyway. Why can't they just laugh it off and become friends? However, if you feel that you must identify guests, give them a welcome packet or gift that is too big for a pocket or a purse. Then teach regular attenders to look for people carrying the welcome packet/gift. I attended worship at a church recently where the only people who knew me were the pastor and one of his associates. Even though I was not recognized or tagged as a visitor in any way, 5 or 6 people not only shook my hand, but spoke to me for several moments. This is a church that expects visitors and wants them there. I felt welcomed, but not overwhelmed. That is what we should all shoot for.

5. Here are some other things that must occur if you are actually expecting new people to come to your church.
a.) Whether you call it the foyer, the narthex, or the lobby, the entrance area needs to be uncluttered and welcoming. If you are building or remodeling your church, make sure the entry is larger than you think you will need and that it is well thought out.
b.) The nursery, children's area, and the rest rooms must be clean, and appropriately decorated. The stuff you don't want in your home anymore, is not good enough for God's house. If you would be uncomfortable to have a piece of furniture in your house, don't put it in the church.
c.) Don't be afraid to get creative when decorating the youth, children, and nursery areas. Make them age appropriate and fun. This does not take a lot of money, just some imagination and effort. Remember, if the kids want to come back the parents are more likely bring them again.
d.) Nursery and children's workers must be present early, and come equipped with a smile for every family, including the new ones. Procedures for the nursery should be explained by a worker and printed for the guest to have. Children's church workers should make sure the parents know where their children will be, and where and when they should be picked up. If parents or children are reluctant to take advantage of the nursery or children's church, help them to feel fine about worshipping together.
e.) Go the extra mile to make sure the restrooms, particularly the ladies rooms, are clean and attractive.

Many people decide whether or not they are coming back before the worship service even begins. If the entry is a mess, if the restrooms are uncomfortable, or if the children's areas are not desirable, many guests will right the church off before they even know it. First impressions count for churches, just like they do for individuals.

You and I should be making friends with people who don't know the Lord, and when we do, I hope we will want to invite them to worship with us. As they come, the church should help us present a witness of Christ in every way. Again, be winsome to win some.

What did I leave out? What else can the church do on Sunday morning to support our witness to our friends and neighbors?

The Winsome Church 2

Last week I shared the first blog about how a church can become a winsome church. In other words, a place where visitors feel welcome and members can feel exited about inviting their friends. Let me start this one with a true story about how not to do it.

A few years ago I was invited to speak at my mother's church for Mother's Day. It was an honor because I had attended there from ages 6 to 12. The service was just as I remembered it from 40 years before: same songs, same organ, even the same organist. It was also the same people, not nearly as many as before. I was one of the younger ones attending that day. Everyone was very nice to me, but after the service, I had an opportunity to stand off to the side as coffee was served. The people were encouraged to chat for a few minutes. I noticed couple was standing there with two children, and I could tell, by their shyness that they were new, and by their dress they were from the neighborhood which had run down over the years. Literally, no one spoke to this couple. As they left, I heard the 80 something year-old church secretary say to one of the other old timers, "What were they here for?" Obviously, she was unimpressed with their jeans, and their tatoos. The end of this story is that about 18 months later the Bishop closed the church. It had literally died, as had so many of the old timers.

This could never happen at your church. Are you sure? What are you doing to prevent it from happening? Here are a few ideas:

Before and after church, it is important for old friends to put off their conversations until the guests have been thoroughly welcomed. In fact, the church should be intentional and strategic about welcoming visitors. From the moment he comes on the church property the new person should begin to realize that you planned for his arrival, and you want him to be with you. It starts outside the front door, with a greeter offering a warm hello, and help with the door. Actually, it should start in the parking lot, especially if it is large one, or if it is not near the main entrance.

Once inside the building, greeters should be outgoing people. This is not the job for someone who is afraid of people, or for the one with offensive personal habits. The greeter, or the welcoming team, should be able to direct guests to the nursery, the children's area, and the youth area, as well as the worship room. Most of all, they should know where the restrooms are. Greeters should find out who invited the guest and try to help the new person connect with their inviter. If that is not possible. introduce them to someone else in the church. Be sensitive, some folks want to slip in with little notice. Don't force anyone to do anything. The point is for the guest to feel accepted, comfortable and loved. If the church has a welcome center, it should be manned early, and attractive welcome packets should be available.

As a backup to personal contact, the church should have good signage. I am amazed that many churches don't have signs at all. The sign should be sure to tell the worship times. Guest parking signs should be posted at the best parking places. (Staff, board members, and other members who want the church to be welcoming to guests should park at the back of the lot to leave room for guests.) The main entrance must be easily identifiable. Inside the building, there should be signs directing guests to the welcome center, the restrooms, the nursery and the worship room. Don't take for granted that new people will be able to find anything. If your church was built in the before very recently it may be difficult for people to even find the right door to enter. How embarassing it is for a guest family to find itself wandering all alone in strange building, and their six year-old needs to find the rest room, now! Remember, signs are to back up personal contact, not take the place of it.

The whole idea is for first experience of someone you may, or may not have invited, to be as comfortable as you can possibly make it.