We Needed a Christmas Tree: an Unexpected Blessing

It was our fourth Christmas together, and it was time for our annual hunt for a tree. While my family had used an artificial tree for many years, Tina was convinced that only a “real” tree was acceptable. Just a month before our annual hunt I had left my job as an associate pastor to accept my first lead pastor, actually solo pastor, position. My new church had come through a difficult couple of years, although they were paying me all they could, it was southern California and everything was more expensive than it should have been. That was particularly true for the cut Christmas trees that were imported from far away. We shopped and shopped, but even my wife, the Christmas nut, was not prepared to break the bank for a tree that would be in our apartment for less than a month. So, reluctantly, she went with me to K-Mart to look at artificial trees. Tina had to admit that they looked better than she thought they would and we picked one out. Of course, the one we wanted was about the most expensive one they had. We looked at it, and looked at it. We rationalized that if we spent the money on it, it would be several years before we would need to buy another one.  But still… it was just more than we could spend. It was a big deal to Tina and she was almost in tears. That made it a big deal for me too. Just then we heard a small voice say, “Do you kids like that tree?” The voice belonged to a little old lady who was standing near us. Tina said, “Yes, it is very beautiful, but it is kind of expensive.” The woman said, “I have one just like it at home that my husband and I bought last Christmas. We love it.” After a brief pause she went on, “Or I should say, I love it. My husband passed away last summer.” We made the normal clumsy attempts to say something comforting. She thanked us for that, and then said. “I am going to my daughters for the Holidays so I am not putting up a tree this year, and I have plans move into an apartment some time next year, so I don’t need a big tree anymore.” She started to tell us about her family, and even though the last thing we wanted was to be rude to this sad little lady, we really wanted to get on with our shopping.  We began looking for a way out of the conversation with this stranger when she said, “I came here today to see if I could find someone who might like my tree. Would you kids like to have my tree?” Tina said, “That would be nice, how much do you want for it.” She replied, “If you are willing to come by my house and get it, you can have it.”

In amazement we made arrangements to stop by her house the next day. It was a nice home where she had raised a family and made a life with her husband. We could tell she loved the place, but it was lonely for her to live there by herself. She invited us in and gave us cookies and coffee. We spent several minutes talking with her, which she seemed to enjoy very much, and so did Tina and I. That sweet lady was at the other end of life from Tina and I. We were not yet parents. Her children had grown, moved away and had children of her own. Tina and I were only a little more than newlyweds. She had outlived her husband. We were dreaming of glorious Christmases ahead. She was remembering wonderful ones of the past.

We took her tree home and used it for many years after that. Because of our memory of her generosity and her story, we hated to retire it. For several years we exchanged Christmas cards with her. Then one year none came from her and we were pretty sure that she was celebrating once again with her husband, this time in Heaven. It was a loving thing she had done for us that Christmas. The love she shared with us grew out of her love for her husband. She just wanted us to enjoy our Christmases together just as much as she had enjoyed her cherished Christmas memories.

She showed us something else. An act of kindness does not have to be huge to be greatly appreciated. The nice lady went out of her way to find a good home for her tree. I guess that is the key, sometimes the greatness of a gift, is in its timing, the story that goes with it, and the love that accompanies the gesture. We get so busy at Christmastime we sometimes miss the opportunities God sets before us to share love with friends or strangers. This season is going to be exceptionally busy for me, but I’m going to try to keep my eyes open for ways to be a blessing to someone. Why don’t we all ask God for the chance to share His love in a special, even unusual, way this year? Perhaps we can be used by God to lighten someone’s load and brighten his/her outlook of life.

Loving Like Jesus

Christ-followers talk a lot about love, and well we should. Love was the main thing Jesus talked about. It was the hallmark of His life, as well as His death and resurrection. If you know any Greek words you probably know the word Jesus used for love: agape. Agape was an interesting choice because there are at least three ancient Greek words that are translated into the English word love. Eros is the word for love between a man and a woman from which we get the word erotic. Eros shows itself in the desire to possess the love object. Phileo is what we call brotherly love. Phileo loves the love object because of the given relationship, like brother to brother. It shows itself in loyalty. Agape is God’s unselfish kind of love. This word is seldom found in other ancient Greek writings, but it is by far the most used word to be translated love in the New Testament. Agape is love that shows itself in the desire to help the love object. It gives whether or not the giving is returned. Agape is shown in the way God loved the rebellious Israelites and the sinful you and I. It is “the love that will not let me go.” Agape says “I love you.” There is no “if”, “and”, “until”, “unless”, “or”, “as long as” added on … simply, “I love you.”

Jesus’ command to follow Him includes loving as He loves. The incarnation of Jesus and His death on the cross are examples of God’s agape for us. We can’t die on the cross as a sacrifice for mankind, but we can love people the way He loved others. Agape must become the hallmark of our lives as we imitate Him. We can put the needs of others ahead of our own wants and preferences. How did Jesus do it? How did He live out His own commandment to love one another?

First of all Jesus took initiative to make friends, often with unlikely people.
He still chooses to love people, not because He needs them, but because they need Him. When He chose His disciples, He didn’t choose the intellectuals or the most religious people. Instead, He chose simple working men (Peter, Andrew, James and John), a radical (Simon Zelotes), and an outcast (Matthew, the tax collector). If we are going to love like Jesus, we must think of prospective friends the same way. The friends that God wants to give you to influence for Him may not have the right looks, wear the right clothes, or use the right language.

I learned this lesson when we started a congregation several years ago. Our son was a little leaguer and I was a coach. My wife and I saw his baseball team as a great opportunity for us to meet unchurched people who could become prospective members of our new church. Little league baseball parents are notorious for getting into heated arguments. I don’t remember what exactly happened, but one of the mothers on the other team and a grandmother from our team got into a profane shouting match in front of the kids. My wife and I had a habit of speculating about which team families might wind up as part of our church. We were sure that that cussing grandma would not be one of them. She didn’t seem too interested anyway. The next Sunday, to my surprise, as people were arriving before church, I saw that grandma crushing out her cigarette with her foot to bring her grandson to worship. She was a rough one, but she had a tender heart and within a few months I had the privilege of baptizing her. I had written her off as a prospect, but God had not. This showed me that I needed to go beyond being friendly and take the challenge of being a friend even to those who I don’t think would be interested in the church or knowing Jesus.

Jesus demonstrated His love in tangible ways.
How do your friends know you care deeply for them? If you are going to love like Jesus your must be willing to do more than what is expected. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to help your friend? Jesus talked about going the second mile and He washed the disciple’s feet as an example of how they (and we) should treat each other.

One Sunday I preached loudly that, in the light of Jesus’ teaching on footwashing, we must be willing to do anything, for each other and for the world. I pounded the pulpit and challenged the church. The very next day the Lord required me to practice what I had ranted about. The police dispatcher called me (I was a volunteer police chaplain.) and asked me to go to the scene of a teen suicide. I joined several of the officers there a few minutes later. The coroner was in the boy’s bedroom to pronounce him dead. Apparently, one of our high school football players had skipped practice that day, gone home, put a pistol in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I called the family together, had prayer with them and did my best to comfort them. Since they were Catholic, I called their priest who came a few minutes later. A suicide, especially when it is one so young, is tough for the cops too, so I milled around with them until the body was taken out. The police began leaving and I was ready to go back to the church when Sgt. Thornberry walked up to me. He was one of the department tough guys. He said to me. “Rev., I hate to see that mother have to clean up that mess.” I said, “Me too.” I thought he was talking hypothetically. The next thing I knew, he had found a bucket, some liquid soap, a few towels and some sponges and recruited a neighbor lady to help “us” clean the boy’s bedroom floor. I wasn’t sure how bad I wanted to be part of “us”, but I couldn’t refuse. The tough cop had taken initiative to do a loving act, because the chaplain (me) was oblivious. Not only did I not want to wienie out on Thornberry, more importantly, I had my own words from my sermon pounding in my head, “You have to be willing to do anything.” As I scrubbed that poor boy’s blood and brains off the floor, it was like God way saying to me, “Now you know what you were preaching about and what Jesus meant when he told His followers to wash one another’s feet.”

How about you? Are you willing to do what needs to be done for others to God’s glory? Do you really want to serve others, or do you just want to talk about it? God had to force me to find out what it means to say yes to serving others in His love.

Jesus backed up His words with actions. His friends knew He loved them because of the way He treated them. Words by themselves are hollow, but Jesus preceded and surrounded His words with actions. To love like Jesus we must both live love and speak love. Love must become the thing for which the church is known. For too many people the church is known for making people feel guilty. The church gets a reputation of love only when her members learn to love like Jesus

John 15:9-17 (NIV)