We Needed a Christmas Tree: an Unexpected Blessing

It was our fourth Christmas together, and it was time for our annual hunt for a tree. While my family had used an artificial tree for many years, Tina was convinced that only a “real” tree was acceptable. Just a month before our annual hunt I had left my job as an associate pastor to accept my first lead pastor, actually solo pastor, position. My new church had come through a difficult couple of years, although they were paying me all they could, it was southern California and everything was more expensive than it should have been. That was particularly true for the cut Christmas trees that were imported from far away. We shopped and shopped, but even my wife, the Christmas nut, was not prepared to break the bank for a tree that would be in our apartment for less than a month. So, reluctantly, she went with me to K-Mart to look at artificial trees. Tina had to admit that they looked better than she thought they would and we picked one out. Of course, the one we wanted was about the most expensive one they had. We looked at it, and looked at it. We rationalized that if we spent the money on it, it would be several years before we would need to buy another one.  But still… it was just more than we could spend. It was a big deal to Tina and she was almost in tears. That made it a big deal for me too. Just then we heard a small voice say, “Do you kids like that tree?” The voice belonged to a little old lady who was standing near us. Tina said, “Yes, it is very beautiful, but it is kind of expensive.” The woman said, “I have one just like it at home that my husband and I bought last Christmas. We love it.” After a brief pause she went on, “Or I should say, I love it. My husband passed away last summer.” We made the normal clumsy attempts to say something comforting. She thanked us for that, and then said. “I am going to my daughters for the Holidays so I am not putting up a tree this year, and I have plans move into an apartment some time next year, so I don’t need a big tree anymore.” She started to tell us about her family, and even though the last thing we wanted was to be rude to this sad little lady, we really wanted to get on with our shopping.  We began looking for a way out of the conversation with this stranger when she said, “I came here today to see if I could find someone who might like my tree. Would you kids like to have my tree?” Tina said, “That would be nice, how much do you want for it.” She replied, “If you are willing to come by my house and get it, you can have it.”

In amazement we made arrangements to stop by her house the next day. It was a nice home where she had raised a family and made a life with her husband. We could tell she loved the place, but it was lonely for her to live there by herself. She invited us in and gave us cookies and coffee. We spent several minutes talking with her, which she seemed to enjoy very much, and so did Tina and I. That sweet lady was at the other end of life from Tina and I. We were not yet parents. Her children had grown, moved away and had children of her own. Tina and I were only a little more than newlyweds. She had outlived her husband. We were dreaming of glorious Christmases ahead. She was remembering wonderful ones of the past.

We took her tree home and used it for many years after that. Because of our memory of her generosity and her story, we hated to retire it. For several years we exchanged Christmas cards with her. Then one year none came from her and we were pretty sure that she was celebrating once again with her husband, this time in Heaven. It was a loving thing she had done for us that Christmas. The love she shared with us grew out of her love for her husband. She just wanted us to enjoy our Christmases together just as much as she had enjoyed her cherished Christmas memories.

She showed us something else. An act of kindness does not have to be huge to be greatly appreciated. The nice lady went out of her way to find a good home for her tree. I guess that is the key, sometimes the greatness of a gift, is in its timing, the story that goes with it, and the love that accompanies the gesture. We get so busy at Christmastime we sometimes miss the opportunities God sets before us to share love with friends or strangers. This season is going to be exceptionally busy for me, but I’m going to try to keep my eyes open for ways to be a blessing to someone. Why don’t we all ask God for the chance to share His love in a special, even unusual, way this year? Perhaps we can be used by God to lighten someone’s load and brighten his/her outlook of life.

At Tiny Naylor’s on Christmas Morning

As with most people in America, my wife and I love to spend Christmas with our family, and we have always been fortunate enough to do that.  Well almost always. The first ten years of our marriage we lived in sunny California and our parents couldn’t wait to spend the Holidays with us, getting out of the Midwest’s cold and snow.  Later, we had a great time sharing our son with his grandparents every year. We always made a big deal out of every bit of Christmas with the family every year, except one.

For our fourth Christmas together, neither set of parents could get out to be with us.  So it was just the two of us that year.  We had moved to Pasadena, California on the first of December and we didn’t really know anyone there. Because we were at a loss to know what to do with ourselves, on Christmas Eve we went to a big mall.  We had no shopping to do, because we had mailed our presents to our family weeks before. Instead, we slowly wandered the mall, looking around and generally getting in the way of all the last minute shoppers.  Then, we went home and took the dog for a walk while looking at the Christmas lights in our neighborhood.  Our TV was on the fritz, so we listened to the radio.  The L.A. stations had radio drama specials on that night—three different productions of “A Christmas Carol.”  Tina went to bed after the second one, but I heard all three sitting in the dark looking at our Christmas tree. 

The next morning we got up early and opened our presents.  That was fun, but with only the two of us it didn’t take very long.  We decided to go out for breakfast.  There was a little café around the corner named Tiny Naylor’s.  It was an interesting place that morning.  The first thing we noticed was that we were the youngest people in the place, by about 30 years.  The next thing we noticed was that almost everyone was sitting alone.  There were a few other couples, but a lot of the tables had just one occupant.  We ordered and watched the people. The waitresses were extra cheery.  They seemed to understand that their customers were lonely folks.  Instead of feeling resentful that they had to work, they realized that the folks they were serving needed someone to be nice to them.  Everyone took his or her time eating breakfast.  I think most of them had no place else to go.  Tina and I felt very lucky, because even though it was just the two of us that morning, we had an invitation to dinner with one of the families in our new church, and my wife’s parents would be with us in a couple of days. 

I’ll never forget that morning because it was the first time I realized how lonely Christmas can be for people who are unattached.  Those folks were lonely … and quiet.  I have always wondered what was in their thoughts.  I’m sure some were mourning the passing of a loved one or a relationship that had ended.  Others were probably harboring anger and bitterness toward someone.  Still others may well have been glad to be alone so they didn’t have to put up with the people in their families that day.  I’m pretty sure that many of them just wanted the day to be over so they could get back to their regular lives.  Perhaps there were others who, like my wife and I, were just biding time until they could join a celebration with people they loved. 

I still love the presents (both giving and receiving) the music, the movies, the church presentations, the decorations, everything.  But the memory of that breakfast at Tiny Naylor’s keeps me sensitive to those who don’t enjoy the season the way I do.  It also helps keep the wonder of the real meaning of Christmas the main thing for me.  Whether or not we celebrate with family and friends, and whether or not we enjoy the traditional celebrations, it is important to remember that it is all about God’s Son being born to show His love for us and to redeem us from our sins.  That, my friends, is cause for celebration under any circumstances—big and brassy, or low key and quiet.