Every year I hear folks complain that Christmas is so busy and rushed. I guess the only time Christmas isn’t busy is when you don’t have anyone to celebrate with, or anyone who is counting on you. Bill was one of those folks. He was making it through Christmas as a spectator, not a participant.
You could call Bill an innkeeper. He was an assistant manager at a fairly large hotel and he worked the front desk from time to time checking guests in an out: a modern day innkeeper. As Christmas approached, all the employees were asking for the day off. One of the maids even quit to make sure she wouldn’t be asked to work on the Holiday. Everyone who worked the front desk was hoping that they would not be the one stuck with the duty. In staff meeting Fay, the manager, said that she hated to choose someone, but that the hotel would be open, and while it was not going to be full, there were guests with reservations coming. Someone had to work the desk and be on call. She said that from midnight to noon they could probably get by with just one person. All the desk staff held their breath, each afraid he or she would be the one to have to go home and tell the family they had to work on Christmas. Most of them had children or grandchildren they wanted to be with. Bill knew he would not be asked because as assistant manager he could pull rank on everyone except Fay.
Before Fay could even ask for a volunteer, Mildred asked that she be excused because her son and grandchildren were coming from California. Nicole quickly said, “Well, I want to go see my parents at Christmas. I worked Thanksgiving when Mildred’s daughter came.” Chad said, “I need to be with my kids. My ex is going skiing with her husband and I get the kids.” Then, it all became a jumble of words, with a few tears, and Bill could tell shouts would come next. He put his fingers to his lips and whistled loud and shrill. Everyone startled and stared at him. The whistle had the desired affect—the room went silent. Bill said, “Fay, I will work Christmas. I have no plans and everyone else does.” Bill had only been in town a few months and was living in a one-room efficiency apartment. His parents were dead and his sister lived three states away. He was still reeling from a rough divorce. This Christmas was not one he was looking forward to. Thirty-eight years-old and on his own, he had hoped to have a kid or two by now, but his wife made it clear she did not want to be a mother. He found out what she didn’t want was to be the mother of HIS kids. Just last month he heard she had a son by her new boyfriend. Bill would work. It would give him something to do besides sit at home and watch sentimental old movies on TV. Besides, he could do that sitting at the front desk on a slow day like Christmas promised to be. Everyone thanked him, including Fay. He didn’t really want to be at work on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, but there wasn’t any other place he wanted to be either.
Bill arrived at work on Christmas Eve at 8 p.m. He decided to work half of Marcia’s shift so she wouldn’t miss the whole evening with her family. The hotel had very few guests. It wasn’t even 20 percent occupied. The restaurant had just shut down and none of the meeting rooms, which had been so busy with parties the last two weeks, were in use. Christmas Eve drug by. He watched “A Christmas Carol” and looked for “It’s a Wonderful Life”, but had to settle for some college choir singing classic Christmas carols. The lobby was deserted all evening. The guests came in and went to the elevator. One couple came to the desk because they needed an extra key. Two people stopped by to ask if the restaurant would be open on Christmas Day. It would, but not until 4 p.m. There was one security man on duty. Bill talked with him for about a half an hour, but later he was hard to find. Bill suspected that he was staying away, because he had been consuming Christmas cheer and didn’t want the assistant manager to smell his breath. It was what he had feared—a long, lonely night. He found a deck of cards and laid out a game of solitaire. Even that brought him down. His life was solitaire. About 2 a.m. he did the night audit, which kept him busy and made a couple of hours pass more quickly.
At 8:30 a.m. a man and wife and two kids came in carrying sound equipment, a box of books and some decorations. As the man walked by the desk on his way to the meeting rooms he looked over his burden at Bill and said a hearty “Merry Christmas.” For a moment, Bill was at a loss. He saw the man hurry back and forth taking stuff to the meeting room and looking like he knew what he was doing. It suddenly occurred to Bill that it was not only Christmas, but it was also Sunday. This must be that new church that had been meeting for the last several months in one of the ballrooms. He’d heard about it, but he had never been at work when the church met. The man parked his car and came up to the desk with what looked like a microphone stand in his hand. He said “Hi. I’m the pastor of the Hope Church that meets here. You got stuck with desk duty today. Mildred told me last week she was hoping not to be here today.” Bill said, “Yeah, she had plans, and I didn’t have any. So here I am.” The pastor said, “Well that was a nice thing to do, but it must be a bummer working on Christmas Day. Excuse me, I gotta go set up for worship.”
In about twenty minutes the pastor was back in the lobby to open the door and greet people. When no one was coming in, he stepped over to the desk and talked with Bill. “Expect a crowd today?” asked Bill.
“Don’t know, we usually have 80 or 90 people, but a lot of them are young families and I’m sure they have Santa on their minds today,” said the pastor. “I know my kids do.”
Just then a lady came in carrying a big sheet cake. When it was time for the service to start the pastor said, “Hey, if you can get away from the desk, why not come down to the service?” In a few minutes Bill heard the familiar Christmas carols. He couldn’t really be away from the desk, but he did slip down the hall where he could hear the singing a little better and still see the front desk. When the service was over the people drifted out, talking and laughing, and many of them took a moment to say Merry Christmas to Bill. Some of the men helped the pastor load all the stuff back into his car. Finally, the pastor’s wife and kids came by along with a few more people. The pastor’s little daughter had a paper plate with a big piece of cake on it. She said, “Have a piece of birthday cake.” Bill said, “Whose birthday are you celebrating? Is it yours?” The little girl looked puzzled and replied, “No, it’s Jesus’ birthday.” Bill felt a little embarrassed.
The pastor was the last person out. When he stopped by the desk he reached out to shake Bill’s hand, suddenly, Bill didn’t want to be alone. He asked the pastor what his plans were for the rest of the day. Then, he asked him how long the church had been meeting at the hotel, and how long he expected they would be using it? How many members he had? What was their denominational affiliation? Bill kept asking questions, even though he could tell the man needed to go. Finally, the pastor said good-bye and Merry Christmas and left. Bill felt rather foolish for talking the man’s leg off when he knew the man had family to attend to. It was just that the loneliness seemed to crash around him when the church people reached out to him.
The cake caught his eye. It was a big piece. Bill thought to himself, “How dumb am I? ‘Whose birthday?’” He found a fork and took a bite. As he was chewing, he noticed that someone had left a Bible on the counter. Just then the phone rang and it was the pastor asking about his Bible. He asked Bill to keep it there at the desk and he would pick it up later.
As he finished the birthday cake, he opened the Bible to the place that was marked by one of those ribbon bookmarks attached to the binding. He didn’t figure the pastor would mind him reading his Bible. It opened to Luke chapter 2 where it tells about the birth of Jesus in the Bethlehem stable and the angels appearing to the shepherds and directing them to go see the baby. When it said there was no room for them in the inn, he thought to himself, “They should have stayed here. We have plenty of room.” He came to the part where the angels said they had good news of great joy which was for all people. It stopped him cold. Suddenly, he realized his problem this Christmas. That was what put him in his funk. Sure, he was in a rough spot in his life right now, but he usually handled that okay. He knew that things would get better, but Christmas had brought him down, because it seemed to be for other people: for kids, and people with kids, for families with big meals to share. But the angel said the news of Christmas was for everybody. Was Christmas for him too? The angel went on to say that the baby born in Bethlehem was a Savior, Christ the Lord. The pastor had written a little note in the margin by the word Savior that said “rescuer” and by the word Christ that said “anointed leader.” Bill was going to have to think about this. Jesus was born to rescue people and be their anointed leader. If this news was really for all people, could that mean it was for a lonely man like him too? The shepherds believed it. Could he believe it? Maybe he would ask that pastor about it when he came by to get the Bible.
Slowly, the desk began to get active with phone calls and people checking out. No one could see any difference in Bill on the outside, but something was different inside. He wasn’t sure he believed it all yet, but for the first time in months he felt hope. And hope is just a short step from belief.
(Based on a real-life incident)
Friday, December 16, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
An Uncertain Christmas – A Certain Faith
We were a daddy and his little boy jostling down the interstate in a 24-foot U-haul truck. It was our third day in the truck which held all the family’s belongings and also pulled our car. The tired tow-headed five year-old, Jarad, tried to sleep, but the ride was just too rough. It was another story for his cocker spaniel. The dog was fast asleep on the hard floor as the boy struggled in the seat. After watching the dog sleep blissfully for a couple of hours Jarad made the dog trade places with him. Soon the dog was fast asleep on the more comfortable truck seat and Jarad was still wide awake on the floor.
I chuckled softly at Jarad’s predicament. It was a laugh at his expense, but I needed to laugh at something. There was not much that was funny about moving the week before Christmas. I was sad that my little five year-old was missing out on the usual Christmas traditions because we were on the road. Sadder still, was the reason we were moving. My sweet wife, Tina, who had long suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, had been fighting an infection for months and no matter what the doctors had tried, it would not go away. It just got worse. She hadn’t been able to walk for a long time; in fact, it was a terrible struggle for her to even get out of bed. Nothing the doctors had done had helped. She appeared to be dying at the age of thirty. I was taking Tina home so she could be near her parents in her last days.
Everything had happened so fast. Tina’s illness had forced her to stop working and I was embarrassed that I didn’t make enough money pastoring a small church to support my family without her income. The church said they couldn’t pay more and they refused to let me work outside the church. I felt I had no choice but to pursue another kind of work. As I started looking for a job, Tina grew worse. Her mom came out to California to help again. My angel of a mother-in-law had spent sixteen weeks at our house in the last year. She was a huge help, but it wasn’t fair for her to be 2300 miles away from her husband the rest of the family in Indiana.
Since we were selling our house, to reduce our debt load, it occurred to me as I watched Tina struggle, that there was nothing holding us in California anymore: I had resigned from the church, and soon we would be out of our house. Since I had to look for a job and a house, there was no reason it had to be out there. Tina needed to be with her family back in Indiana. She needed their emotional support and so did I. I also needed physical help taking care of her, and Jarad.
My parents, who lived in Kansas, traveled to California to help us pack and load the truck. Because she could not have tolerated the four day trip by car or in the moving truck, Tina flew out on the foggiest, dreariest night of the year. The next day, Jarad and I climbed into the truck and headed out with my parents following in their car.
Our plan was to spend the third night of the trip at my folk’s house. The next day they would follow me on to Indiana for as big of a Christmas celebration as we could muster at my in-law’s farm. Everyone was trying to be hopeful, joyous and helpful, but everyone also knew the sad reason for the move.
As we drove a popular song titled “Stand By Me” was broadcast on the radio time and again. The lyrics were of a man promising his loved one that, no matter what happened in life, they would be safe as long as they faced their hardships together. As I drove I would look at Jarad and we would sing it together. I was desperately hoping he might realize, whatever was ahead for us, he could count on me to be with him and uphold him.
It turned out to be a pretty rough trip. When we were going through Albuquerque, New Mexico snow started falling. It was just a few flakes at first, but within a few miles the snow became heavy, after a few more miles, it turned into a blizzard. We passed no towns for a long way, so there was no place to stop or turn around. I had never driven a big truck pulling a car in weather like this. Getting behind a big rig, I copied whatever the driver in front of me did: slowing down as we crested mountains, and carefully trying to keep going straight on the way down. It took four hours to go the fifty miles to the next town and a motel.
My mother took ill in the bad weather. It was not possible for her to continue past their Kansas home, another disappointment in a season of disappointments. After my father and I got Mom settled in her bed, Dad reminded me that the church I attended as I was growing up was presenting its outdoor “Living Nativity” and suggested that I take Jarad to see it. It was a good idea; maybe it would be one special thing in a fouled up Christmastime.
Walking into the church parking lot holding Jarad’s hand brought back wonderful memories of being part of that church and participating in the “Nativity”. This particular presentation was more than a tableau. Actors played out the Christmas story to a beautifully narrated and orchestrated twenty-five minute recording. When I was a youth, I participated heavily in all aspects of the production. As I held Jarad in my arms and watched, my heart was taken up by the familiar Christmas story in a new way. I identified for the first time with Joseph, the one male part I had never played. I was dealing with a lot of uncertainty that Christmas, and it occurred to me that the first Christmas was pretty uncertain for Joseph. Both Joseph and I found ourselves in towns that we no longer called home. Neither of us was happy about the way he was able to provide for his wife. Joseph’s wife gave birth in a stable. Mine was in the midst of moving at time of great suffering. Neither Joseph nor I knew what was going to happen next. Things worked out for Joseph because he trusted God, and God had a plan. I began to realize, that even though nearly everything in my life was uncertain I had to believe that God had a plan for me too, and I needed to trust Him. Whether Tina would live or die, I didn’t know. How I would provide for my family, I didn’t know. But I had given my life and my future to the Lord years before at this little church. Suddenly, I was reminded by the Christmas story, which was coming to life before me, that God would be faithful and that He would not forget my little family. In the midst of an uncertain Christmas, I found a more certain faith.
The next day Jarad and I (and the sleeping dog) jostled on down the road to a new life. Before long “Stand By Me” came on the radio, and Jarad and I again sang with the record. This time I sang it with a new assurance that, just as I would stand by my son in scary times, I, too, had a Heavenly Father standing by me on this uncertain Christmas.
Things didn’t straighten out right away, but the hope in my heart had been reborn. By the following Christmas, things were nearly back to normal. After ten surgeries Tina’s infection was finally cleared up and her health was slowly improving. Our house in California sold in February. After several months of unfruitful job searching, I was asked by my denomination to do something I had always dreamed of doing: begin a new congregation. Christmas that year found me back in the pulpit, my wife doing well, and my son making new friends in his kindergarten class. One thing was certain, God had been standing by us the whole time.
He has continued to do so. In the years since then, Tina finished college with a degree in education. She has recovered to the point that she is no longer considered disabled. After working several years on my staff as children’s minister, Tina now edits a children’s ministry magazine, writes an on-line children’s church curriculum, has authored ten books, and teaches and encourages children’s workers all over the country. Although she still battles rheumatoid arthritis, it hasn’t stopped her. The jostled little boy, Jarad, is an all grown-up and the father of twins. He serves as Lead Pastor at a church not far from Chicago. Tough times will come again, but they won’t be uncertain times because God has blessed us with a certain faith.
I chuckled softly at Jarad’s predicament. It was a laugh at his expense, but I needed to laugh at something. There was not much that was funny about moving the week before Christmas. I was sad that my little five year-old was missing out on the usual Christmas traditions because we were on the road. Sadder still, was the reason we were moving. My sweet wife, Tina, who had long suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, had been fighting an infection for months and no matter what the doctors had tried, it would not go away. It just got worse. She hadn’t been able to walk for a long time; in fact, it was a terrible struggle for her to even get out of bed. Nothing the doctors had done had helped. She appeared to be dying at the age of thirty. I was taking Tina home so she could be near her parents in her last days.
Everything had happened so fast. Tina’s illness had forced her to stop working and I was embarrassed that I didn’t make enough money pastoring a small church to support my family without her income. The church said they couldn’t pay more and they refused to let me work outside the church. I felt I had no choice but to pursue another kind of work. As I started looking for a job, Tina grew worse. Her mom came out to California to help again. My angel of a mother-in-law had spent sixteen weeks at our house in the last year. She was a huge help, but it wasn’t fair for her to be 2300 miles away from her husband the rest of the family in Indiana.
Since we were selling our house, to reduce our debt load, it occurred to me as I watched Tina struggle, that there was nothing holding us in California anymore: I had resigned from the church, and soon we would be out of our house. Since I had to look for a job and a house, there was no reason it had to be out there. Tina needed to be with her family back in Indiana. She needed their emotional support and so did I. I also needed physical help taking care of her, and Jarad.
My parents, who lived in Kansas, traveled to California to help us pack and load the truck. Because she could not have tolerated the four day trip by car or in the moving truck, Tina flew out on the foggiest, dreariest night of the year. The next day, Jarad and I climbed into the truck and headed out with my parents following in their car.
Our plan was to spend the third night of the trip at my folk’s house. The next day they would follow me on to Indiana for as big of a Christmas celebration as we could muster at my in-law’s farm. Everyone was trying to be hopeful, joyous and helpful, but everyone also knew the sad reason for the move.
As we drove a popular song titled “Stand By Me” was broadcast on the radio time and again. The lyrics were of a man promising his loved one that, no matter what happened in life, they would be safe as long as they faced their hardships together. As I drove I would look at Jarad and we would sing it together. I was desperately hoping he might realize, whatever was ahead for us, he could count on me to be with him and uphold him.
It turned out to be a pretty rough trip. When we were going through Albuquerque, New Mexico snow started falling. It was just a few flakes at first, but within a few miles the snow became heavy, after a few more miles, it turned into a blizzard. We passed no towns for a long way, so there was no place to stop or turn around. I had never driven a big truck pulling a car in weather like this. Getting behind a big rig, I copied whatever the driver in front of me did: slowing down as we crested mountains, and carefully trying to keep going straight on the way down. It took four hours to go the fifty miles to the next town and a motel.
My mother took ill in the bad weather. It was not possible for her to continue past their Kansas home, another disappointment in a season of disappointments. After my father and I got Mom settled in her bed, Dad reminded me that the church I attended as I was growing up was presenting its outdoor “Living Nativity” and suggested that I take Jarad to see it. It was a good idea; maybe it would be one special thing in a fouled up Christmastime.
Walking into the church parking lot holding Jarad’s hand brought back wonderful memories of being part of that church and participating in the “Nativity”. This particular presentation was more than a tableau. Actors played out the Christmas story to a beautifully narrated and orchestrated twenty-five minute recording. When I was a youth, I participated heavily in all aspects of the production. As I held Jarad in my arms and watched, my heart was taken up by the familiar Christmas story in a new way. I identified for the first time with Joseph, the one male part I had never played. I was dealing with a lot of uncertainty that Christmas, and it occurred to me that the first Christmas was pretty uncertain for Joseph. Both Joseph and I found ourselves in towns that we no longer called home. Neither of us was happy about the way he was able to provide for his wife. Joseph’s wife gave birth in a stable. Mine was in the midst of moving at time of great suffering. Neither Joseph nor I knew what was going to happen next. Things worked out for Joseph because he trusted God, and God had a plan. I began to realize, that even though nearly everything in my life was uncertain I had to believe that God had a plan for me too, and I needed to trust Him. Whether Tina would live or die, I didn’t know. How I would provide for my family, I didn’t know. But I had given my life and my future to the Lord years before at this little church. Suddenly, I was reminded by the Christmas story, which was coming to life before me, that God would be faithful and that He would not forget my little family. In the midst of an uncertain Christmas, I found a more certain faith.
The next day Jarad and I (and the sleeping dog) jostled on down the road to a new life. Before long “Stand By Me” came on the radio, and Jarad and I again sang with the record. This time I sang it with a new assurance that, just as I would stand by my son in scary times, I, too, had a Heavenly Father standing by me on this uncertain Christmas.
Things didn’t straighten out right away, but the hope in my heart had been reborn. By the following Christmas, things were nearly back to normal. After ten surgeries Tina’s infection was finally cleared up and her health was slowly improving. Our house in California sold in February. After several months of unfruitful job searching, I was asked by my denomination to do something I had always dreamed of doing: begin a new congregation. Christmas that year found me back in the pulpit, my wife doing well, and my son making new friends in his kindergarten class. One thing was certain, God had been standing by us the whole time.
He has continued to do so. In the years since then, Tina finished college with a degree in education. She has recovered to the point that she is no longer considered disabled. After working several years on my staff as children’s minister, Tina now edits a children’s ministry magazine, writes an on-line children’s church curriculum, has authored ten books, and teaches and encourages children’s workers all over the country. Although she still battles rheumatoid arthritis, it hasn’t stopped her. The jostled little boy, Jarad, is an all grown-up and the father of twins. He serves as Lead Pastor at a church not far from Chicago. Tough times will come again, but they won’t be uncertain times because God has blessed us with a certain faith.
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