Who are You Trying to Impress?

That was the question the conference leader asked a group of about 500 or so pastors and church leaders. “Who are you trying to impress?” I was a very young associate pastor and being a typical Baby Boomer know-it-all, I answered to myself, “I’m not trying to impress anyone. I just want to be me.” Then, the leader went further and said “Who would you most like to hear compliment your ministry? A friend? A parent? Another pastor? A seminary professor? Who would you most like to hear say good things about your preaching and your leadership?” Well that brought the question home to me. I thought I would love to have some of my old profs (I was about a year and a half out of seminary) tell me I was doing things the right way. This conference leader had started his church with nothing and led it to be, at that time, one of the fastest growing and most effective churches in America. He said, “I decided when I started that if I could get a compliment from anyone on my ministry, I wanted it to come from the unchurched in my town. That is who I decided to try to impress.”

To me, that was a brand new way of looking at ministry, and it has become the way I have tried to conduct myself as a pastor. Because Jesus’ command to us is to make disciples, I knew I needed to make an impression on those who don’t know Him. How else could I help influence them to join me in following Christ? This idea began to color the way I sought to preach, the programs and events I led my church to do, and even the kind of building we eventually built. Sometimes, it’s meant choosing to do things in a way that was not impressive to my profs or even the older leaders in my church. From time to time, those people made their disappointment with me very obvious. But the Lord did not assign me to impress them. Jesus had the same problem. Most of the religious people of His time were not impressed with Him at all, while the regular folks followed Him.

Impressing the unchurched does not mean becoming like the unchurched, but it does mean sharing the Gospel in ways that get their attention and speak to them. It means treating them with respect and loving them. It means doing your best to make them feel accepted, comfortable and loved in your presence. You won’t have to point out their sin (the Holy Spirit will take care of that), and it’s not your job to judge them (I believe that is reserved for Christ). Your job is to care about them and want them to join you on the journey to heaven.

Too often the practice of congregations does not match its rhetoric. They say they want to win people to Christ, but they leave the unchurched feeling like they are a bother. When people do decide to join the body, the congregation often keeps them on the fringe of the fellowship for a long time. (Right after becoming the pastor at a church, I heard some of the core people talking about the “new family.” Turned out the “new family” had been attending and giving to the church regularly for 5 years.)

Lesson for Pastor: It’s easy for your office to become an ivory tower. You can find yourself surrounded only by Christians and people who try to act like Christians when they are around you. Find ways to get to know unchurched people in your community and be Jesus to them. Join a service or hobby club, play on a ball team not sponsored by the church, volunteer as a police or fire chaplain, coach your kid’s sports team. Do anything that will put you in close contact with people you might be able to influence for Christ. Then, get to know them. Become friends. Share life with them and thereby earn the right to share Christ.

Lesson for Church Leaders: Help your pastor develop a culture in your church that expects and welcomes unchurched people. Realize that they will bring baggage with them from the world and be willing to help them deal with it when they’re ready. Don’t expect people who don’t know Christ to act like Him. Be real with them. You probably aren’t as Christ-like as you should be either. Share the road to Him with them.

My mentor, Dan Harman, used to say when I was his associate at First Church in Fresno, CA that he wanted there to be three kinds of people in Fresno: 1.) People who are members of First Church. 2.) People who are members of another church, but say, “If I didn’t have a church home I would go to First Church.” 3.) People who don’t go to church anywhere, but say, “If I decide to go to church, I think I’ll try First Church.” We didn’t get that far, but we worked at it. I challenge you to work at it too.

Think about it. From whom would you like to hear a compliment? Who are you trying to impress?

Church Reputation

One of my wife’s co-workers had just been hired at a church in a town that we would pass through as we drove down the interstate, so we decided to keep an eye out for it.  Since it was a big church in town of about 20,000, we thought it might be visible from the freeway.  Tina was curious about the place and we needed a break, so when we stopped at an Arby’s for lunch. I asked the girl at the counter if she knew where the New Springs Church was located. She smiled and said, “Oh yes, that’s a great church. Everybody knows it.” I asked her if she went there. She said no, but she had friends that went there and she had been there a couple of times. I asked her for directions. She said, “Well, it’s out on such and such road.” I told her I was just passing through and didn’t know that road. She called her manager over and told her I was looking for New Springs Church. She gave directions that included three or four turns. I had hoped to catch a glimpse of the church as we sped by on t, but that wasn’t possible so we decided not to look it up. However, I asked the manager if she attended New Springs. She said no, but she knew the church because her grandkids had played basketball there and attended Vacation Bible School. “It’s a wonderful church. They do lots of stuff for people.” Just then another worker walked up and said, “Yeah, they help a lot of people. I go to another church, but if I didn’t, I would go to New Springs.” I thanked them, and we went on to our destination.

We never did see the church, but I got a mental picture of it. It’s a place that reaches out to the community, has a great reputation, and serves as a great embassy for the Kingdom of God in Anderson, South Carolina. I still haven’t been there, and I don’t know the pastor, Perry Noble, personally, (although I have become a fan of his articles on churchleaders.com). I have no reason to toot New Springs’ horn. I’m just reporting what happened and drawing this conclusion: this church must be doing a lot of things right, and I wish more churches had this kind of reputation in their communities. My mentor, Dan Harman, used to say that he wanted there to be three kinds of people in our town: those who went our church, those who went to another church but said they would go to our church if they weren’t involved in that church, and those who didn’t go to church anywhere but said that if they started going to church it would be our church. From my small sampling at Arby’s that day, it looks like New Springs has been able to do that in their town.   

What would happen if someone got off the interstate in your town and asked the people about your church at the local Arby’s or McDonalds? Would they get directions or a blank stare? Would the traveler hear good things about your church? Do the people in your town know about your church and is what they know positive? The people I spoke to that day didn’t talk about the great pastor. They spoke about how the church cares about people and reaches out to the community. (One of the people did mention that the worship was great, but that was far from the first thing they said about the church.) Big church, small church, whatever size your church is, it needs to build a reputation in your town for doing the great commandments. If it does that, it will almost automatically follow that the great commission will be accomplished. Here’s the thing. There’s only way to build this kind of reputation and that’s for the members to really learn to love people who don’t come to church and who may not be anything like the church members. You can’t program that. You can only teach it and, more importantly, model it.

Why Don’t Churches Grow?

A lot of churches don’t grow and haven’t grown in a long time. The people scratch their heads and can’t figure out what is wrong. They love their church and don’t understand why others don’t. They see people come and go, but the attendance just seems to go down. The painful truth is that many of our churches are about a dozen funerals from ceasing to be. Why is it that many churches don’t grow? Of course there are many reasons, but I think the major one is that the world doesn’t see Christ in the church. Jesus’ love and the hope he gives are attractive, but too often non-Christians don’t see Him in our churches. Why is that? How are we covering Him up?

First, of all the world doesn’t know what the church is up to. We have not made clear that we are here to share the wondrous love of Jesus we have found and enjoy. Since they don’t feel the love they come up with all kinds of erroneous motives for the church.
Second, the world doesn’t think the message of the church is relevant. Generally that is at least partly because it we have not made the message clear. So they think, “Whatever they are doing has nothing to do with me.”
Third, we come across to the world as an ingrown culture. To them, we have our own jargon, we exist in our own little world. They think they wouldn’t be welcome, even if they were interested
Fourth, too often we are seen by the world as a people who argue over the strangest things: doctrines they don’t understand; the type of music that is sung in the church; the length of hair, and skirts; and whether or not to wear ties in worship.
Fifth, they see us as people to whom tradition is more important than sharing our message in a relevant way. Tradition can help hold people together, but many times we let our traditions get in the way.

What can be done? How does a church overcome these perceptions? To get past these things the people in the church first have to want to. We must decide whether it is more important to do things the way we like them, or to reassess the things we do and aim our efforts at doing what Jesus told us to do, make disciples, and make the changes necessary to reveal our wonderful Savior to a new generation.

It may sound brutal but it is true is that many of us are flat-out selfish when it comes to our church. We would rather watch our neighbor go to hell than have to change things in their church. Can anyone tell me, what Jesus is going to say about this?